


The Mystery of the Journal

by dollalpaca



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: (not between the girls), Alternate Universe - High School, F/F, inspired by a book i read once, it's an emotional rollercoaster more than anything, tw: mentions of non-con, tw: underage drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-17
Updated: 2020-05-17
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:28:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24238813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dollalpaca/pseuds/dollalpaca
Summary: Gigi finds a lost journal written entirely in Spanish in the library and tries to decipher who it belongs to, only to find something even more special.
Relationships: Gigi Goode/Crystal Methyd
Comments: 21
Kudos: 139





	The Mystery of the Journal

**Author's Note:**

> This project's being in the works FOR WEEKS now, and it feels so good to finally be posting it. A HUGE thanks to Frey for being my personal cheerleader - and bane of my existence at the same time - during all this time. I love you, baby.
> 
> This entire fic is inspired by a book I read in middle school, L'agenda, that stuck with me over the years. Also, because one day I was feeling very shitty about my writing skills in English and there was discourse about Crystal's latino heritage all over Tumblr. So this is a love letter to all my latino readers, and a big fuck you to the people that white washes Crystal. ❤

Gigi is just searching for a book to help her with her history project when she sees it.

A brown leather journal filled with many stickers was tossed on the ground; apparently someone had forgotten it.

She picks it up, quickly going to the index page to see if there’s a name written on it. There is, but the ink is smudged, and the color of the pages a pale yellow, indicating that it’s old. The only thing Gigi can make out of what’s written on it, is an incomplete name, “-liza.”

Gigi frowns. Well, this isn’t helping at all.

She scrolls through the pages and when she tries to read one of the entries, she finds that it’s written in Spanish.

Though Gigi considers herself fairly good at Spanish, she barely understands a word of this journal. She frowns, thinking who it could belong to; there are many Latino kids at school, so that knowledge doesn’t help either.

She closes it and decides to look for Jackie; she knows more languages than anyone, she surely would be able to help her.

*

Gigi finds Jackie chatting with Nicky, and for a moment she doesn’t wanna interrupt, but she remembers Nicky is French, and French is somewhat similar to Spanish; maybe she can help too.

So she walks up to them and taps Jackie’s shoulder, looking a little sheepish as she shows Jackie what she found.

“It’s in Spanish,” she explains, showing her a page of the journal. Nicky and Jackie lean in, inspecting it. “I wanted to know if you can read what it says, I have no idea who to give it back to, because the name in the first page is incomplete.”

“Can’t you use Google translate?” Jackie teases Gigi, once she hands her the notebook. Gigi gave a small huff.

“You know I never have data, it goes as it comes,” she protests, folding her arms. But her protests go unnoticed as Jackie and Nicky begin to read one of the entries.

“I’m a polyglot, but my Spanish isn’t that good,” Jackie says, furrowing her brow. “I understand this part, though. It says ‘Mom said she’d send me a message every day, but she hasn’t’.” She reads out loud, but Nicky cocks a brow, taking the journal in her hands.

“I have an idea of what it says, but I think my mom would understand it better. Her parents were from Spain, so she knows enough Spanish to maintain a conversation,” Nicky admits with her attention focused on the page. “I can take this home and see if there’s a name or an address we can return this to.”

Gigi knows she’s not the owner of the journal, but there’s something in her that doesn’t want to give it away, a gut feeling telling her that it’d be better if she kept it.

She’s about to politely decline Nicky’s offer when the bell rings, so Gigi takes the journal back and smiles bashfully.

“That’d be nice, but now I gotta go to the chemistry lab. See you at lunch!” Gigi waves at the pair and walks away with a fast pace.

Before going to chemistry, she goes back to her locker for her books and leaves the journal there, promising herself she wouldn’t forget it once it’s time to go home. She’s really curious about its content.

And she wants to find the owner, too, obviously.

*

On chemistry they have to work in pairs, but Gigi’s partner, Jan, is on a cheerleading competition in another state, so she’s pretty much screwed, since Jan is usually the one that does the calculus, and Gigi just pours the liquid per Jan’s orders.

“Um, Miss Ivy? I don’t have a partner. Scarlet is on a competition with the cheer team,” one of her classmates says, Gigi looks around and she lays her eyes on the new girl, Cristine was her name?

She couldn’t remember it, but seeing they were both alone, she raises her hand almost instantly.

“I don’t have a partner either, Jan is off to competition too,” she informs, and Miss Ivy resolves to let them be a team for now. Cristine moves to seat next to Gigi and she smiles at her. “Hi, I’m Gigi. You’re the new girl, right?”

“Yeah, I’m Crystal,” she says softly, almost sheepishly. Well, Cristine isn’t her name, but Gigi was close.

“Nice to meet you, Crystal,” she greets her with a smile, and Crystal gives her a shy one back. “Do you understand these exercises? ‘Cause I sure don’t, Jan used to be the one with functioning brain cells in our team.” Gigi laughs wholeheartedly, and Crystal gives a small chuckle.

“I think I understand, but I might be wrong,” she says, glancing over at Gigi’s notes.

Turns out, Crystal isn’t wrong at all; she’s really good at solving the exercises, and they get their assignment done rather quickly.

They talk while the others finish and Gigi finds that Crystal is funny despite being a little shy. She’s about to ask her to have lunch with her when her phone vibrates in her pocket; how weird, she didn’t have any data.

She takes it out discreetly and smiles when she sees a text from Jaida.

_Jay: Hi, Gi! Dahlia said her parents are cool with us having a sleepover during the weekend, I’m texting all of y’all now before Dahlia regrets it, please confirm your presence on the group chat once you have Wi-Fi, xo._

Gigi smiles giddily and types out an answer, forgetting what she was just about to ask Crystal.

When school is over, Gigi excitedly goes to get the notebook and puts it softly in her backpack. She’s eager to find out what it says.

*

At home her routine doesn’t change much; she does her homework, helps her mom cook dinner, and once it’s over - she takes the dessert to her room and promises her mom she’ll be careful to not drop any pie on her bed.

Once she’s alone, Gigi takes the notebook out of her backpack and brings it to her bed, along with her phone, another notebook, and a pen; she’s determined to find out who it belongs to.

She flips a couple of yellow pages, finding many postcards, stickers, little messages written on the edges in colorful pens, and even vague doodles scattered around. Gigi can almost feel the personality oozing from this notebook, with all the little details it has.

She finds a recent entry, dated as March 18th. It’s currently April 3rd, so she excitedly grabs her phone and starts reading, copying every word as good as she can.

Google Translate isn’t the best at translating right now, because her translation of the first paragraph is rather clunky and doesn’t make much sense. So Gigi tries her best to re-write it in a cohesive way, and when she does, she can’t help but to feel her heart sink.

_“Everything is different here. I feel stupid when people try to talk to me and the words just… Won’t come out of my mouth. Dad says I will get over it, it is just temporary; but with every day that passes I feel so alone. I miss being smart. I miss my mom. I miss home.”_

Gigi feels as if she should stop there, to leave this notebook alone and try to find its owner by other means. She doesn’t need to read more to know this isn’t just a notebook - it’s a diary, and whoever is writing it, is pouring their heart and insecurities out on these pages.

But she also feels the need to know more about this Liza, she wants to find her, so she can give her a big hug and tell her it’s alright, she’s really smart, and she isn’t as alone as she thinks she is.

With conflicted feelings, Gigi doesn’t stop until she translates the entire March 18th entry, and when she goes to sleep well past midnight, she doesn’t regret doing it, feeling somehow closer to Liza.

She puts the notebook in a box under her bed and goes to sleep, thinking about Liza and her love for art and history, and how Spanish is the only subject she’s good at.

*

Gigi’s got gym class on the first period and she’s starting to think she should’ve gone to sleep earlier.

She hasn’t told neither Jackie nor Nicky about the translation she did, and she’s not sure if she’s planning to. It feels personal, not only because it _is_ personal, but also because Gigi feels as if it’s already bad enough Liza’s diary ended up in her hands; she doesn’t wanna share her secrets with more people.

While they run around the gym to warm up, Gigi can’t help but wonder what Liza looks like. She didn’t write any descriptions about her physical appearance on March 18th’s entry, so Gigi’s imagination runs wild.

Liza makes her think of someone cutesy, with a doll-like face. Maybe she has an average height, with brown curly hair that cascades down her back, or short, straight black hair that’s cut barely above her shoulders. Maybe she has eyes as brown as a leaf in autumn, or pale blue eyes that resemble the sky, or sweet honey ones.

There’s a sea of possibilities, and Gigi hasn’t been this excited about something in a long time. It makes her feel like a detective in a book, trying to piece together an intricate mystery.

Except her ‘intricate mystery’ is a lost journal that could’ve been easily solved by bringing it to the L&F corner.

She’s absent minded for most of the mundane parts of gym class, except when she falls into a fit of laughter with her friends over something dumb one of them does.

At some point before the class ends, she spots Crystal among the girls, and notices how she looks lost while the teacher is explaining the evaluation process for their final exams, how she bites her lower lip, opens her mouth a little, looking at the girl next to her, but eventually closes her mouth, biting her lower lip again.

She frowns a little, and when they’re dismissed to go get changed, she goes up to Crystal with a friendly smile.

“Hi!” She greets her, and for a moment Crystal looks confused. “I was wondering if you’d like to have lunch with me and my friends today, I forgot to ask you yesterday,” Gigi says, and it isn’t really a lie. She wanted to invite Crystal to have lunch, but she got distracted by Jaida’s text.

Crystal gives her a genuinely smile and nods, walking along with her to the locker room.

The day goes by in the blink of an eye, and before she notices - she’s waving at Crystal to sit with them at the cafeteria.

She introduces Crystal to the rest, and the girls seem to get on really well with her. She’s funny and witty once she gets comfortable around them, and Gigi greatly enjoys her company.

She wonders why she hasn’t noticed her before, and once lunch is over, she asks Crystal if she wants to have lunch with them from now on. Crystal gives her a grateful smile and a nod, thanking her for it.

Gigi spends the rest of the day with a cheerful smile, having a good feeling about her new friend.

*

Gigi hasn’t stopped thinking about the journal throughout the day, so when dinner is over and she goes back to her room, she feels a special kind of excitement.

She’s gone back to older dates, almost at the beginning of the year; these ones have sad doodles and pictures of crying cats glued on its pages. When Gigi noticed it, her curiosity sparked greatly.

She grabs her tools and focuses on an entry from January 4th.

It takes her about an hour to translate three rough paragraphs, and twenty more minutes to make it make sense.

“ _New Year was really fun! The family got messy really quickly after midnight, but my cousins and I sneaked out to a party, so it wasn’t that bad. I met a girl at the party, and we’ve been texting since then. I feel all fuzzy when I get a text from her, what a nice way to start the year, don’t you think?_

_Mom says dad will visit us next week, but I don’t keep my hopes up. My stepmother is pregnant and I don’t think she’ll let him fly alone, as if he wasn’t a grown man. I miss him, but he has changed a lot over the years. When I go visit him in the summer it’s always so awkward. I don’t know why my friends think the United States are fun - it’s really not, when you don’t have anyone to hang out with and you visit the same places over and over._

_But I hope he comes alone. Maybe without that woman he’ll be more like he used to be. Fingers crossed, I guess_.”

Gigi has her brows knitted in a frown and her heart tugs a little, feeling sorry for Liza. She turns the page and looks for the word “papá.” She has to know if her suspicions are right.

She finds the word at the very beginning of an entry from January 7th, written in big red letters, and before she translates it, Gigi knows it won’t be a happy reunion.

“ _DAD WANTS ME TO LIVE WITH HIM IN THE UNITED STATES! AND MOM SUPPORTS THIS!!!!_

_I’m crying out of frustration, how can they do this to me? Why now? It’s my last year of high school! I already applied for college! My whole life is here, all my friends and family. There’s nothing for me there, except a bitch stepmother and loneliness._

_Mom says it’s because she wants me to have better college opportunities, and dad says it’s because we live in the line of poverty, as if it isn’t HIS fault we’re poor. If he never ran away, knowing mom barely has her high school title and no other education, we wouldn’t have gotten into many debts until mom got a job. It’s not fair. I don’t want to go. I won’t do it._ ”

Gigi feels a knot in her throat because she knows the outcome; she knows there’s a reason why the journal ended up in her hands. Liza was forced to leave her country and her mother behind.

She goes to sleep with the journal under her pillow, and dreams about giving a hug to Liza.

*

When Gigi arrives to her Spanish class, she finds that their teacher, Mister Rogers, won’t be attending today due to the fact his wife is in labor. And since it was with such short notice, the class will be conducted by Miss April, but that also means Gigi’s class would have to mix with Miss April’s.

The class is packed, but somehow there is one last empty seat behind Gigi. Once everyone is seated, Miss April begins with the roll call.

Jackie is seating a few rows to her left and she looks as bored as Gigi, then there’s Nicky, who’s on Gigi’s right side, who’s picking at her worn out nail polish, Jan and Jaida are sitting in front of her, and Jaida is doodling without much interest in her notebook, despite the soft scolding from Jan.

If you take out the sharing class part, it seems it’s going to be a pretty normal day.

“Goode, Gigi?” Miss April says, lifting her gaze to look around the room. Gigi raises her arm, surprised that they’re already on her name.

Before she can continue with the roll call, there’s a knock on the door, and Miss April goes to open with a confused expression.

“Sorry I’m late, miss,” Crystal sheepishly says, “My dad had some troubles with his car and I had to walk.” She’s a little out of breath as she says this, and Gigi notices how shiny her forehead is.

Miss April gives her a soft smile and tells her something in Spanish, the only word Gigi manages to pick up being “inside.”

Crystal looks around the room, with her fists clenched, searching for a free seat. Gigi waves at her and points behind herself. Crystal smiles before sitting down quickly, softly greeting Gigi as she does so.

“Tienes suerte, cielo, tu nombre era el siguiente,” Miss April says as she scratches Crystal’s name.

Gigi frowns a little, slightly looking over her shoulder to catch a glimpse of Crystal. She looks relieved as she produces a notebook and a pencil case from her backpack.

When the roll call is over, Miss April proceeds to ask Gigi’s class what they were learning. She looks a little disappointed when she hears they’re still stuck at past tenses.

Nevertheless, she puts back her smile and does a quick run over for the class on past tenses. Crystal replies to most of her questions with ease and enthusiasm; it takes Gigi some time before she puts two and two together, and notices that Crystal is a Latina.

Miss April looks absolutely thrilled whenever Crystal speaks and congratulates her in Spanish more than once. After Gigi’s realization that Crystal is also Latina, it’s more than clear why Miss April likes her so much. Everyone knows she has a soft spot for the Latino kids.

Surprisingly, Gigi does fairly good at answering Miss April’s questions and activities. It’s probably because she has written down common words that are repeated all over Liza’s diary, along with their translations.

Gigi never thought her desire to snoop around would teach her something new.

The class is rather fun, and Gigi finds herself wishing she could have Spanish with Miss April instead of Mister Rogers. There are a lot of laughs and jokes, and Miss April recommends them a lot of singers, movies, and TV shows in Spanish if they want to practice their phonetics and pronunciation. You can just tell how in love she’s with her Puerto Rican heritage.

Gigi almost dreads the moment the class ends, and when she’s picking up her things, she hears Crystal’s soft voice say her name.

She jerks her head up and is met with a Crystal whose cheeks are as red as they can be.

“Um, Gigi, I don’t wanna bother you, but…” She leans in closer, with her hands twitching out of anxiety. Gigi cocks a brow, slightly worried for her. “Do you have a pad? I— I think I— I thought it would come later in the month but—”

Gigi’s frantically rummages through her backpack before Crystal is even done speaking; she knows she has an emergency pad somewhere. When she finds it, she passes it to Crystal as discreetly as she can, and Crystal sighs in relief.

“Thank you so much, you just saved my life,” she dramatizes a little as she shoves it into her backpack.

“Do you want me to come with you to the bathroom?” She asks, and Crystal nods without thinking twice.

“Can you check if there’s anything on my pants?” She pleads in a whisper and Gigi nods. She walks a few steps in front of Gigi and she shakes her head.

“All clear,” she informs her. Crystal lets out another sigh of relief. “Now, hurry up if you want it to stay clear.” Gigi grabs Crystal’s hand and she practically drags her to the bathroom.

They run into Gigi’s friends, who look confused to say the least, and Gigi merely exclaims that she’ll meet them in Algebra II, while Crystal says hi to them.

*

“Don’t you hate it when your period arrives before it should?” Gigi comments while Crystal is still locked in the bathroom stall.

“Yeah, but I think it's worse when it delays a few days and you don’t know what to do; wear or not wear a pad, that is the question,” she dramatizes, Gigi laughs a little as she checks herself in the dirty mirror.

Crystal is just coming out of the stall when a thought crosses Gigi’s mind.

“Crystal?” She begins; Crystal briefly looks at her while she’s washing her hands. “Do you think you could teach me Spanish? I want to learn, but Duolingo sucks ass, and you speak it so nicely. Would you you consider it?” She knows it’d be better to learn from a native speaker than from Google translate or Duolingo, which refuses to let the apples go, to translate the entries from Liza’s journal faster.

Something in Crystal’s expression changes; she almost snaps her neck with the speed she turned to see Gigi, and the shine in her eyes is nothing like Gigi has ever seen before.

“Y… Yes, I’d love to.” Her voice trembles and Gigi is sure the glimmer in her eyes is due to unshed tears.

*

Gigi finally found a good clue!

On February 26th, she wrote:

_“Having geography with Miss Manila is fun, but I can’t tolerate the guys that make racist jokes about my country. I wish Miss Manila would let me beat them up.”_

The rest of the page consists of messy, bored doodles of herself. Gigi’s heart starts to race; she’s finally got a clue!

Miss Manila narrows it down to four possible classes, so that is a pretty good start.

She keeps on snooping, looking over more entries and doodles. Liza is pretty good at drawing, even when she’s not even trying. She wonders if Liza is in the art club - she’d fit there.

Gigi finds an entry that draws her attention thanks to a sticker of a cat with hearts around. It’s from March 14th and most of it is written with a pink pen.

“ _There’s a girl in one of my classes that’s really pretty, though she doesn’t know I exist. She sits not that far from me, but I she has yet to notice I’m there. Is it because I’m shy? Maybe, I rarely talk if it’s not asking to go to the bathroom._

 _Sometimes I see her in the hallways and she looks nice, I wish I could gather the courage to talk to her. She could be a nice friend. I hope I make friends soon. I’ve been here for a month and never felt so lonely_.”

So she arrived on February 14th. Gigi squints; that was a Monday, and she rarely pays attention in classes on Mondays, having the dullest subjects on that day.

Gigi feels bad for Liza; a month without making any friends sounds really hard, and she wishes she could just find her and be her friend.

It’s almost as if she knows Liza, knows her quirky, artistic personality, her fears and wishes, but she doesn’t actually _know_ her.

Gigi frowns when she reads again about that girl who doesn’t notice Liza. Wow, she must be really blind.

*

“You still listen to One Direction?” Gigi asks, looking over Crystal’s shoulder to see her playlist. Crystal gasps offended.

It’s finally a Friday and they’re on their first recess, hanging out at the bleachers with the rest of the girls. It’s a sunny, warm day, and with the sun hitting them gently, Gigi picks up on the reddish tone of Crystal’s hair and the sea of freckles adorning her face.

It’s beautiful. Crystal is beautiful.

“Of course I do! I didn’t get several directioner diplomas in 2012 to abandon my boys,” she replies with a laugh. Gigi laughs too as she sits closer to her.

“Can I?” She gestures to one of Crystal air pods and she nods. She puts on the air pod just as Crystal presses play on Kiss You.

They eat cookies as they listen to the song and watch the girls fight about movies to watch on their sleepover.

“Get over it, Nicky; we’re not watching your niche French movies!” Dahlia exclaims with a huff, and Nicky frowns.

“Oh, of course, because you lazy ass Americans can’t read subtitles even if your life depends on it! Fucking bitches, I spent all my life reading subtitles for your shitty movies!” She complains, folding her arms with a huff. Jackie snickers, patting Nicky’s shoulder, and tries to settle the fight.

“C’mon girls, Nicky has a point, we never give her suggestions a try! We should let her have this one,” Jackie says, and Dahlia rolls her eyes. “What do y’all think?” She motions towards the rest of the girls, and most of them shrug.

“I don’t have any problem, it sounds nice,” Jan pipes up with her usual enthusiasm.

“As long as we still watch 'Crazy Rich Asians', I’m cool.” Jaida shrugs, going back to scrolling through Instagram. “What about you Crystal?” She asks vaguely, with her gaze still fixed on her phone.

Crystal is visibly confused about Jaida’s question. “What do you mean?” Jaida lifts her gaze from her phone, cocking a brow.

“What? Aren’t you coming to Dahlia’s house this Saturday?” She then looks at Dahlia, who’s picking at her nails. “Dahlia,” Jaida begins in a warning tone. “We agreed on the group chat that she could come.”

Gigi frowns, tilting her head a little.

“Did we? I didn’t see anything,” she comments, earning a groan from Jaida.

“Oh, bitch, you never read the group chat! We agreed last night to invite Crystal,” she says in an annoyed tone, and Gigi blinks repeatedly. Well, she surely wasn’t expecting that. “But it seems like this shady lady forgot to tell her, and lied to my face when I asked if she’d asked her this morning.” Jaida’s scrutinizing gaze falls on Dahlia, who merely groans and folds her arms.

“Okay, in my defense, I don’t know her Instagram and I _was_ gonna ask her! We have History together on third period; you just didn’t give me time.” Dahlia folds her arms and looks up to meet Crystal’s gaze. “We’re having a sleepover at my house, wanna come?” She deadpans.

Gigi looks at Crystal and she can see how her chest rises, inhaling a sharp breath.

“Yeah, sure, sounds fun,” she replies, trying to keep her cool, but Gigi can see how the corners of her mouth twitch, as if she’s biting back a toothy smile.

“’Kay, gimme your phone,” Dahlia demands, and Crystal complies almost reluctantly. She taps away rather quickly, for having long nails. “This is my number, shoot me a text later to remind me to give you my address.” She gives it back to Crystal and she tucks it into her pocket, with a little nervous smile.

“Thanks, Dahlia.”

Dahlia rolls her eyes, dismissing Crystal with a wave of her hand.

“Whatever.”

They go back to their previous conversation and Gigi doesn’t miss the way Crystal smiles giddily for the rest of recess.

*

“Why do you want to learn Spanish?” Crystal asks sheepishly, quietly tapping her nails against her notebook.

They’ve decided to eat lunch together at the library to have a brief Spanish lesson, just to test the waters.

Gigi takes a long sip from her Coca Cola; she expected Crystal to ask, of course she did, but she hadn’t come up with any explanation.

So she decides to act mysterious.

“It’s a secret,” she says simply, with a little smile.

Crystal cocks a brow, looking interested in whatever Gigi’s secret is.

“You’ll tell me sooner or later,” she replies with a chuckle. Crystal opens her notebook, looking for a clean sheet. Gigi peeks at Crystal’s notes and she leans in closer when she sees the cartoon-ish doodles on the edges of the sheets.

“Your drawings are nice,” she comments, having a faint feeling that she’s seen those cartoons somewhere else.

Crystal blushes, quickly going to the back of the notebook and yanking off a clean sheet.

“They’re just silly things I do when I’m bored,” she murmurs, her tone full of embarrassment. Gigi frowns a little.

“Then the drawings you put more time and effort into must be gorgeous,” Gigi compliments her, only causing Crystal to blush more.

“T— Thank you.” She tucks a strand of lose hair behind her ear, muttering something under her breath. “Are you ready?” Crystal asks, with her pen ready. Gigi nods and Crystal inhales deeply. “We’re going to start with the basics, okay?”

Lunch goes by in the blink of an eye and, though she fiercely denies it, Crystal is really smart. She makes Gigi understand her language with ease, which is really something, because Mister Rogers could never make Gigi understand a single word of Spanish.

Gigi could get used to Crystal.

*

When Gigi opens the journal and goes back to older dates, like August of previous year, she starts to think that she probably should translate the journal chronologically.

“ _I went to a party._

_It was at the salon of this rich girl that goes at my school, Estela. Anyone could come, as long as they were on the list and brought their own alcohol._

_I was excited for it._

_It’s starting to get hot, so I borrowed a pink dress from my cousin Priscilla. She didn’t mind. She never minds._

_I drank too much, lost the girls when I went to the bathroom._

_I found Federico when I was starting getting worried because none of the girls were returning my texts, he told me he’d seen Yesica go to the parking lot to have a cigarette, and she was my ride home, so I went to find her with him._

_She wasn’t there._

_I don’t want to talk about it_.”

Hot tears fall down Gigi’s cheeks as she reads the entry, her heart clenching as she tries not to sob loudly.

She wants to find Liza more than ever, hug her tight and tell her that she didn’t deserve what happened to her, wants to pinky promise she’ll kill the bastard that hurt her.

It’s when she presses Liza’s journal against her chest, rubbing its leather cover with tenderness, thinking it’s Liza herself, that Gigi realizes she’s become attached to someone she’d never met.

She dreams of Liza carelessly dancing on an empty floor, with a toothy smile as her hair flies with every move she makes, while Gigi stares at her in the distance, unable to reach for her when a faceless man grabs her wrist and drags her away.

*

The excitement Gig feels over the sleepover at Dahlia’s is enough to make her push to the back of her brain the night full of nightmares and the tears that stain her pillow.

That morning, Dahlia sent Crystal’s number to the group chat and Gigi didn’t hesitate twice before shooting her a text message. They’ve been texting since then, and now the warm afternoon sun is peeking through Gigi’s curtains, while she’s sprawled across her bed, completely ignoring the homework she still has to do.

She went over the group chat texts to find when and how they’d agreed on inviting Crystal, which admittedly was hard, because she had three hundred unopened messages. Once she found them, though, it didn’t surprise her to see it had been Jan who proposed to invite Crystal.

_Janice: guyssss, what do you say about inviting crystal to our sleepover??_

_Dahlia: um, why?_

_Janice: she seems very lonely for being so nice, we should integrate her to our group_

_Janice: c’mon guys! @Jackie I know you liked her!_

_Jay: but Jackie likes everyone!_

_Jackie: i’d argue but it’s true_

_Nicky: idm_

_Dahlia: nicky you never mind anything unless it’s for your stupid French movies_

_Nicky: HEY!_

_Janice: BEFORE Y’ALL START CAN SOMEONE ANSWER MY QUESTION?_

_Jay: i mean, it’s Dahlia’s house. she should answer that_

_Dahlia: ugh fine, she can come_

_Janice: YAY!_

_Dahlia: anybody got her insta? gonna ask her rn before i change my mind_

Gigi snorts at the whole conversation, but something doesn’t sit right with her. Is Crystal lonely? It’s true that she doesn’t recall seeing her in the halls with other people and that she accepted her offer to have lunch with them right away, but she actually never thought Crystal was _lonely_.

She’s sweet, quirky, and funny; it just never crossed through Gigi’s mind that someone like her might not have friends or someone to hang out with.

It explains her excitement over a simple sleepover and gratitude at being included during lunch.

Gigi can’t help but think that Liza and Crystal are alike in that aspect.

She snaps out of those thoughts when Crystal sends her a funny video, and Gigi laughs loudly when she’s done watching it.

*

The sleepovers at Dahlia’s are always all sorts of wild; her parents never have a weekend without a party or a job reunion, and her sisters are already in college. There’s also the fact that Dahlia’s mom keeps the fancy alcohol in a vitrine without a lock, making it far too easy to steal and replace — her mom doesn’t notice, anyway.

Its ten p.m., and the girls are already scattered around the living room with their sleeping bags, having snacks, and talking about random things. Almost everyone has arrived already; everyone but Crystal.

Dahlia said she did give Crystal her address, but that was an hour ago, and she’s still not there, and the text Gigi sent her twenty minutes ago remains unopened.

Gigi is starting to worry when they hear the doorbell.

“Finally, bitch, what took you so long?” Dahlia asks as she lets Crystal inside. She’s panting, with her cheeks as red as a tomato and her hair is a complete and utter mess.

“I’m— I had no one to drive me,” she says, her breath is ragged and she’s struggling to speak.

“What do you mean? What about your parents?” Jackie is quick to ask, with her voice full of concern.

Crystal bites her lower lip and scratches her head.

“My dad, um, his car is still at the mechanic, so I just took my bike and opened Google Maps.” She laughs awkwardly, but no one even cracks a smile.

“Dude, what? That’s fucked up,” Dahlia says with a frown, sounding genuinely concerned and upset, which usually is a huge deal with her, since she is unbothered by almost everything.

“Something could’ve happened to you! New York ain’t safe at night, especially if you’re not familiar with the streets,” Jaida pipes up, and Gigi instantly picks up on how Crystal’s hand twitch and she looks as if she regrets having opened her mouth.

“But nothing happened to me, can we drop it, please?” Crystal begs, and the group shares a look before reluctantly agreeing and trying to go back to what they were doing. “Um, Dahlia? Could I store my bike in your garage?” She asks sheepishly and Dahlia nods, opening the door again and indicating Crystal to follow her.

The air is tense when Crystal and Dahlia exit the room, and Nicky clears her throat a little before speaking, drawing the attention to her.

“Can someone pass me the remote? I’ll play my movie suggestion before Dahlia comes back and complains about it,” she says while she checks under every cushion in the sofa, and the group snickers, helping her find the remote.

*

Nicky’s movie suggestion ends up being good, and Dahlia has to offer her an apology through gritted teeth for adamantly turning her suggestions down every time, without even seeing the trailer of the movies.

They take a break from watching movies for a little while, since the night is still young and they have plenty of time in their hands — though Jaida complains, because she wants to see “Crazy Rich Asians” already.

Despite Jaida’s constant moaning, they talk about their opinions on the movie, favorite moments, and it’s not long until the conversation strays away from it and they start talking complete nonsense.

“I feel, like, out of all of us, Jan would be the best mom,” Nicky says unprompted, and Jan chokes on the Doritos she’s eating. The group laughs as Jan is trying to swallow the snacks without choking again. “Oh, c’mon, you would!” She insists, but Jan looks horrified.

“Girl, I don’t even wanna be a mother! I was a handful as a kid, I don’t want all the headaches I gave my mom coming back to bite me in the ass,” she replies with a seriousness that makes the girls cackle.

“Oh, bitch, same, I was a complete brat as a kid,” Gigi comments, taking a sip from her drink.

“You still are, whatcha talking about?” Jaida is quick to say, Gigi gives an over the top gasp that only makes the girls fall into a louder laughter.

Gigi steals a look at Crystal out of the corner of her eye; she looks like she’s having fun and enjoying herself, though she hasn’t spoken much so far, but when she does add something to the conversation, it’s always something witty that makes the girls erupt in laughter.

She’s the addition to the group she didn’t even know they needed.

“Do you guys ever look at the stuff you used to like as a kid, like, cartoons, movies, and that kinda shit, and go ‘wow, this was fucked up’, or ‘holy shit, this was so gay,’” Jan says as she snuggles closer to Jaida in the couch.

“Oh, yeah, there’s this one program that’s really old but still popular in Mexico, it’s called _El Chapulín Colorado_ , and sometimes the effects were like, really bad. But as a kid it was _totally_ realistic to me,” Crystal comments, and the nervousness in her tone is palpable.

“You’re Mexican?” Jackie wonders, though she doesn’t really sound surprised. Crystal nods, looking a little bashful. “That explains why you’re so good at Spanish! But you don’t even have an accent.” She knits her brows in a frown and tilts her head to the side.

Crystal licks her lips before speaking and stumbles with the words at first.

“I practiced my accent during all summer, and I try to avoid complicated words most of the time — no wonder why I’m almost failing English.” She laughs awkwardly and there’s a collective murmur around the living room.

“I would’ve never guessed, honestly,” Dahlia says, with one of her brows slightly cocked. "’Cause, like, you're too pale, sis. You’re pretty much passing.” Though there’s no malice or any kind of sassiness in Dahlia’s comment, Crystal’s smile freezes on her face and she starts to fidget with her phone.

“Y… Yeah, I’ve been told. I don’t mind, really, but sometimes people say it as a compliment and I get very upset. I— I don’t know, I guess, I know Mexico isn’t an ideal country, but I don’t see why ‘Congrats for not looking or sounding Mexican’ is a compliment.” Crystal purses her lips, looking as if she regrets ranting to a bunch of people she barely knows. There’s silence for a moment, until Nicky stretches from the couch to give Crystal a hug.

“That sucks, honey, and I’m sorry,” Nicky says softly, and soon the girls are saying how sorry they are and trying to compliment her in hopes of lightning up her spirits.

“Bitch, Mexico looks like a fine country. Y’all’s _Día de los Muertos_ looks like a fun celebration, and those Aztec ruins are one of the places I sure as hell wanna visit someday,” Jaida exclaims over the noise so Crystal can hear, and she lets out a laugh at her enthusiasm.

“Oh! And I want you to teach me Spanish, ‘cause my mom insists that five languages isn’t enough and I should learn two more if I want to succeed in life,” Jackie pipes up with a roll of eyes and Crystal laughs giddily.

“That’s no problem! I’m already teaching Gigi, you could join us,” she comments innocently, but it causes the whole group —besides Crystal— to look at Gigi suspiciously.

“What do you wanna learn Spanish for, Miss Gigi?” Jan inquires with a grin, and Gigi tries to keep her cool as much as she can.

“It’s a secret,” she simply says, earning a groan from the group.

They soon start pleading Crystal to spill the secret, but she shrugs and admits that she doesn’t know either.

“She doesn’t want to tell me, I don’t know why I’m still teaching her, honestly,” Crystal replies with a giggle that makes Gigi smile.

“I’ll tell you all soon,” she promises, and it isn’t long until they drift from the topic again, forgetting about Gigi’s little secret.

*

At roughly 2 a.m. Dahlia’s parents arrive, and her mom quickly checks that everything is still in place and intact. She kisses Dahlia goodnight and follows her husband upstairs, telling the girls to please keep their business quiet and not to stay up too late.

As soon as they hear a door being closed, with a cheeky smile Dahlia sneaks out to get her mom’s nice alcohol and instructs Nicky to get the shot glasses.

Soon the alcohol is flowing, and the girls are struggling to keep their laughs quiet as they grow more lightheaded and clumsy.

They watch “Crazy Rich Asians”, like Jaida’s been begging all night long, and cry relentlessly at all the meaningful scenes, and ultimately the proposal makes them lose it.

It’s already utter chaos, with all the girls saying they wish they had the money to throw a wedding like Collin and Araminta’s, except without the marrying someone part.

“If I had all that money, I would put Rubí’s quinceañera to shame,” Crystal comments, re-arranging her cushions on the ground, but the girls look confused. “Oh, right, it’s a Mexican meme — well, it got really viral and it’s known all over Latin America,” she explains, laughing to herself. “This one girl invited her whole, um, town, I think it’d be? To her quinces with a video that got really viral, and it got out of hand,” Crystal recalls vaguely, snuggling against her cushions.

“Holy shit,” Nicky says, blinking repeatedly. “We’ve never went to a quinceañera, the Latina girls in our class don’t really celebrate it, I wonder why,” she looks at Dahlia with a brow cocked.

Dahlia looks around, acting as if she doesn’t notice Nicky’s gaze.

“What? Don’t look at me! My mom is the one that didn’t throw me a party just to go against my grandma.” Dahlia folds her arms with a huff and Crystal cocks a curious brow.

“You’re Latina too?” She asks quietly, but there’s a tinge of excitement in her tone.

“Technically yes, but I know almost nothing about that side of my family, and I hardly understand Spanish.” Dahlia shrugs, but a soft smile spreads across Crystal’s face.

“Todavía no es tarde para que aprendas,” Crystal says, and Gigi gets excited when she understands every other word.

Dahlia seems to think about it and musters a thank you, promising to think about it.

“Since you didn’t have a quinceañera, you don’t mind if I smoke in your backyard?” Nicky asks, pulling out her cigarettes and a lighter. Dahlia frowns.

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“Nothing, I just didn’t know how to ask you.” She shrugs, already putting a cigarette between her lips. Dahlia groans with an eye-roll, and gets up to open the door to the backyard.

“Wait, can I join you? I didn’t know how to ask too— I mean, either,” Crystal pipes up, revealing her own pack of cigarettes. Nicky grins and motions at her to join her.

Crystal jogs a little to meet them and Gigi closely watches her go. When the door is closed, Jan claps excitedly.

“See guys? I told y’all she’s a good fit to our group!” She chirps, and Gigi nods vaguely.

“She really is.”

*

“Did you have fun?” Gigi asks Crystal; her tone is low as she tries to be still in her sleeping bag.

Most of the girls are asleep already, the alcohol and exhaustion taking the best of them. Though Jan is still up, because she’s a nocturne person as they all know, but she’s minding her business and scrolling through her phone, trying her best to not wake up Jaida, who has an arm placed around her waist and her face buried in her back.

Crystal shifts a little in her sleeping bag, meeting Gigi’s gaze over the body of a fast asleep Jackie.

“Yeah, it’s been fun, you guys are really cool,” she admits, and though they’re not that close, Gigi can distinguish the soft smile on her face.

Gigi smiles back, feeling a weird flutter in her stomach. It probably was her liver acting out after all those shots.

“You know? I’m really glad I asked you to have lunch with us,” Gigi says earnestly, and Crystal coos under her breath.

“I’m glad we got paired in chemistry,” she replies softly, “Good night, cariño,” Crystal says with a yawn, and Gigi’s heart skips a beat.

“Good night, Crys.”

*

Breakfast comes at lunch time and Dahlia’s house is yet again filled with loud laughter and a handful of conversations happening at the same time.

The day is gloomy, with a faint rain making the air a bit too chilly, but none of the girls pay it any attention — the fun they’re having makes them ignore the cold air slipping through the windows.

They’re playing Uno when Crystal’s phone goes off and she excuses herself from the game, going to a different corner of the living room before she picks up.

The girls go on until it’s Crystal’s turn again, so they just wait as patiently as they can — that is until she raises her voice a little too loud, with her tone full of exasperation as she’s speaking Spanish.

“Pero— ¡Sí, te pregunté - te pregunté el viernes y me ignoraste, y cuando te volví a preguntar el sábado por la mañana, me dijiste que sí! ¿Ves que nunca me prestas atención?”

They look at Crystal in confusion, as her tone grows more and more pissed off and her brows knit in a frown. She speaks fast and her thick accent makes it difficult for Gigi to understand anything that she’s saying.

She pinches the bridge of her nose and breathes in deeply before ending the call. Crystal stands there, breathing in and out, biting the inside of her cheeks and Gigi’s not sure if she’s imagining it or if Crystal’s eyes are really turning red with unshed tears.

“I’m sorry,” she manages to say softly, with her jaw clenched. “My dad didn’t know I’m here, and he wants me to come home already.”

Soon the room is filled with complains and questions, and Crystal looks too tired to answer or do anything but fuss as she collects her things.

“What do you mean he didn’t know? Didn’t you ask for permission?” Jackie asks, as baffled as she sounds.

Crystal sighs heavily, stopping to meet her gaze.

“Since my little brother was born he rarely pays me attention, so he said yes when I asked him just so I would stop bothering him,” she explains in a bitter tone, not trying to hide her annoyance.

“And didn’t he notice when you were gone last night? Or, like, when you didn’t come down for breakfast?” Jaida inquires, not wanting to believe Crystal’s dad is that shitty.

“We don’t eat any meals together, to be honest,” she confesses, scratching the back of her neck. “He noticed I was gone because my step-mom went to my room to look for something and she didn’t find me there.” Crystal shrugs, giving a defeated sigh.

Gigi’s heart tugs a little upon hearing that, and she’s pretty sure the other girls feel the same. Crystal musters something about feeling like she’s in a bad drama movie, having to ride her bike home under the rain all by herself and all that.

That’s when an idea pops in Gigi’s head, and before she can think it twice, she says, “I can go with you. You mentioned your house is close to the swimming club, right?” Crystal cocks a brow, nodding slowly. “That’s a bit far from my house, but we can crash at my place and ask my brother to take you home.”

“What’s the difference between me riding under the rain and getting to my house anyway and us riding together and doing a stop?” She asks, puzzled. Gigi turns to see Dahlia.

“Don’t you have an umbrella or something? I can hold it while you drive,” she explains, her attention going back to Crystal. She’s looking at her as if it’s a stupid idea, and maybe it is, but stupid is better than bitter and disappointed, which is what Crystal was feeling just moments ago.

After a moment of silence, Crystal finally answers.

“I mean, if anything, it sounds fun…”

*

Gigi has an arm firmly wrapped around Crystal’s waist while she holds the umbrella as steadily as she can.

Dahlia let them borrow her mom’s big umbrella so long as they returned it in one piece on Monday morning, and they’re lucky the wind isn’t all that strong, because the umbrella has clearly seen better days and looks as if it’d fall apart if this rain was any stronger.

But it’s fun, actually; they giggle through the whole ride, their bodies trembling, and they don’t know if it’s out of excitement or because their clothes get damper with every block they pass, but it’s not nearly as bad as it could be if Crystal was riding alone.

“Turn around to the left after the next block,” Gigi instructs her, pressing her head against Crystal’s back. If she concentrates, she can hear Crystal’s heart beating fast, and she thinks that the first thing she’ll do once they get home is offer her a ton of snacks. She’s probably very tired.

Crystal hums in confirmation and keeps on pedaling.

For some reason, as Gigi takes in their surroundings, she feels as if she’s in a music video for some cheesy love song, or in a coming of age movie. It’s a nice feeling, actually, and she tries to think of the song that would be playing in the background right now, if this was a movie.

She thinks of “Wildest Dreams” by Taylor Swift, and although the lyrics don’t quite match the moment, she’s always liked that song for driving at night. Gigi starts to hum the melody and after some moments she hears Crystal snickering.

“What are you doing?” She asks, a little out of breath.

“I’m trying to remember the lyrics of a Taylor Swift song,” she simply says, and before Crystal can ask why, she proceeds. “Don’t you think this is, like, a scene from a teen drama?” Gigi inquires with a giggle. She can’t see Crystal’s expression, but she hopes she’s smiling.

“Kind of, yeah,” Crystal replies, “I like ‘Every Breath You Take’ more, though.”

“That’s a good one too,” Gigi says with a snort, starting to hum that song.

They don’t talk much after it, only when Gigi gives Crystal directions, but their silence isn’t really uncomfortable. Gigi enjoys it, and she hopes again that Crystal does too; this whole experience makes Gigi’s chest swell with a warm feeling, despite the fact her clothes are damp.

When they arrive at Gigi’s home, she sighs in relief and instructs Crystal to leave her bike on the porch as well as the umbrella and to clean her shoes on the entrance rug before they enter; just after a few steps they ran into Gigi’s older brother in the living room.

“You’re back already?” He asks, cocking a brow. “I thought you’d call me or Pearl when you’re ready to be picked up.”

Gigi sighs a little, motioning over at Crystal.

“Yeah, about that, I was wondering if you could drive my friend Crystal home,” she says, flashing him an innocent smile. Willam cocks a brow, and before he can deny, Gigi continues. “Please, Will! I’ll give you my money for lunch for a week,” Gigi offers and Willam seems to think about it for a moment.

“Not that I need it, but any extra money is always welcome. Tell me when you’re ready.” He waves at Crystal and goes back to watching the TV.

Gigi sighs in relief and motions at Crystal to follow her. Crystal is looking around, almost mesmerized; there are pictures of Gigi and her siblings hanging on every square inch of her house, flower vases here and there, and numerous trinkets from their vacations. It’s cozy and feels very homey.

“Mom, I’m home and I brought a friend,” Gigi calls as they go upstairs. “She’s probably at her sewing room,” she says, turning to see Crystal, who just cocks a brow.

“Sewing room?”

“Yup. She’s a seamstress, the best one I know.” Gigi gives her a toothy grin, and Crystal smiles a little, looking rather nostalgic.

“My mom can’t sew a button, but she’s a great cook,” she tells her, her tone full of longing. Gigi is curious about Crystal’s family history, considering the latest events, but she still can’t find a good way to word all the questions running in her mind.

She stops in front of a door painted in baby pink, with wooden letters that say “Gigi” on it, and opens it with a loud sigh, dropping her backpack near the door. Crystal leaves hers right next to Gigi’s and stands awkwardly in the middle of the room as Gigi falls onto her bed.

“Are you hungry? Thirsty, maybe? You can change your clothes and I’ll go downstairs to get you something.”

“Just water would be fine, thanks,” she replies, and Gigi hops off the bed with a nod.

She leaves Crystal alone, closing the door behind her, and Crystal inhales sharply. She actually can’t believe any of this is happening, not yet; this entire week just feels like a long fever dream, especially since Gigi was the one to first approach her and not the other way round.

It’s been difficult to make friends and coping with everything going on in her life, and sometimes she wants to cry at the thought that maybe she’s found the kind of friends that will stick through thick and thin with her like in the movies.

At the same time she thinks it’s stupid, because she’s only hung out with them for a week and hasn’t opened up to them that much yet — but, God, there’s nothing she wishes more than to rebuild her life and be _happy_ again.

Crystal sighs, trying to keep her composure as she reaches for her backpack and starts to get changed, wondering what’s taking Gigi so long.

She’s putting on her t-shirt when she sees something under Gigi’s pillow and frowns slightly, swearing it’s a piece of brown leather.

“Crys, can I come in?” Gigi asks from the other side of the door and Crystal says yes, her gaze still fixed under the pillow. “Is everything okay?” Crystal turns to see her, accepting the large glass of water.

“What’s under there?” She replies with another question, taking a long sip from the glass as Gigi goes over to her bed and lifts the pillows.

The glass slips from Crystal’s fingers, crashing on the ground and spilling the water, as she notices it’s her journal.

Gigi looks back and forth between Crystal and the puddle, confused to say the least.

“Wh— where did you get that?” She stammers brokenly, taking it from Gigi’s hands in a quick motion, pressing it against her chest as her breath becomes ragged.

Gigi blinks repeatedly before she replies, “I found it in the library.” The color drains from Gigi’s face as she catches on what’s happening. “Is— is it yours?”

Crystal nods with a whimper. “I’ve been looking for it everywhere,” she says, on the verge of tears as she realizes this might be the reason Gigi asked her to teach her Spanish. She’s completely terrified at the thought of Gigi snooping around, reading her secrets as if it was nothing.

“Did you read anything?” Crystal asks, and though she’s not surprised by Gigi’s nod, it still makes a wave of embarrassment wash over her.

She can’t, it’s not possible; she refuses to believe this girl, with the shittiest Spanish pronunciation, read her deepest secrets and thoughts.

Her first instinct is to leave, but Gigi rushes over to the door and blocks it, looking absolutely apologetic.

“Crystal, I’m so sorry, I didn’t know it was yours! The name in the index page was incomplete and— and I thought it belonged to someone called Liza and—”

“My name is Crystal _Elizabeth_ ,” she cuts her off and Gigi shuts her mouth. Crystal swallows the lump in her throat before continuing. “I’ve had this journal since I was a little kid, and when I lost it, I felt as if I lost a part of myself,” she says, trying to keep her composure. “I— there are things here that I’ve never told anyone. And knowing you read who knows how many pages— I’m sorry, I can’t look at you right now.” Crystal reaches for her backpack and shoves the journal inside.

Gigi is still standing in front of the door, but she’s so shocked and embarrassed of herself that she doesn’t put up a fight when Crystal shoves her aside and exits the room.

Once she snaps out of it, she runs after Crystal, her heart beating at a hundred miles per hour.

She’s had Liza right in front of her all this time, and as stupid as she is, she hasn’t noticed until now.

She ignores Willam’s questions as to what is going on and runs up to the porch, only to find Crystal is already back on her bike and pedaling away.

“Crystal!” She yells, not doubting it for a moment before she runs as fast as she can to catch Crystal. But it’s no use; Crystal has a clear advantage, and Gigi is running out of breath.

Gigi stops at the corner of her block and watches as Crystal goes away without looking back.

Shit.

*

Crystal blocks her number and doesn’t respond to any of her Instagram DMs, and Gigi would ask the girls for help, but she knows she’d earn a scolding from Jackie for having kept the journal for so long.

When Monday rolls around, she doesn’t see Crystal at all, not even at lunch, and the girls are weirded out by this; they spent a lovely pajama party, why is she avoiding them now?

“Does this have anything to do with you?” Nicky asks during lunch, pointing at Gigi with her plastic fork.

Gigi bites the inside of her cheek and shrugs, saying that she has no idea. She feels bad for lying to them, but she’s not sure how to tell them what really happened.

Throughout the day, Gigi looks for Crystal’s red curls among the wave of students, but she’s not there.

The next day they have chemistry together, and Gigi keeps her fingers crossed that she’ll be there.

But she isn’t.

At the end of the class, she asks Scarlet if she has any idea as to where Crystal is, but Scarlet doesn’t know either, even when she swears she saw her at the entrance earlier that day.

It takes Gigi about one second to put two and two together and realize Crystal is skipping classes.

When she’s alone in her room at night, she looks over her translations of Liza— correction, _Crystal’s_ journal entries.

It makes her skin crawl with shame to be reading these pages, to have violated her privacy without an ounce of regret while she was doing it.

She rips the pages apart and keeps her fingers crossed for Crystal not to skip gym class the next day.

*

She’s not sure what she was expecting when she arrives to the gym and there’s no sign of Crystal anywhere. Gigi inhales a deep breath, thinking this is probably a bad idea, but at this point she’s too worried about Crystal to care.

Gigi sneaks out, trying not to get caught by the teacher and wanders along the halls, looking for Crystal. She checks the bathrooms, behind the field bleachers, and around the patio, but Crystal isn’t there.

It hits her like a truck, and it makes her feel like an idiot yet again, when she realizes she hasn’t checked the library.

She makes her way to the library as fast as she can, and when she’s in front of the doors, she peeks a little before sighing when she notices Miss Tammie isn’t at the front desk. Gigi doesn’t question the reason why, she just hurries inside and looks around for Crystal.

She finds her at the very back of the library, chatting with Miss Tammie in Spanish. Gigi cocks a brow, since when Miss Tammie speaks Spanish?

“Me siento muy expuesta, ¿sabe? Esta agenda ha sido mi única amiga por mucho tiempo, y, pues, no me siento cómoda viéndola, sabiendo que la ha leído.” Gigi doesn’t understand a single word of what Crystal is saying, but she sounds upset - sad, even.

Miss Tammie pats her back and sighs.

“Lo entiendo, pero no puedes esconderte para siempre, cariño. Tienes que hablar con ella eventualmente.”

Crystal fidgets with her hands and looks away, Miss Tammie says something else and gets up to leave. Gigi almost instinctively hides on the other side of the shelf, crossing her fingers and hoping Miss Tammie doesn’t see her.

She walks right past her and Gigi breathes in deeply before she shakes her nerves away and approaches Crystal.

Crystal freezes mid-movement upon seeing her; she parts her lips slightly and Gigi motions at her to be quiet.

“What are you doing here?” She asks, visibly tensing. Gigi sits on the other side of the table, locking eyes with Crystal.

“I could ask you the same question, but I have an idea of why you’re here,” Gigi replies, and Crystal looks away. “I’m here to talk with you, clearly, but, uh, also to say sorry.”

Crystal cocks a brow, looking back at her. “Sorry for what, for invading my privacy and not having the dignity to bring my journal to Lost and Found?” She inquires in an annoyed tone, making Gigi feel small. “I checked the office every damn day, with my anxiety far up in the sky every time they told me there wasn’t any journal."

Gigi bites the inside of her cheek. Well, shit.

“I thought about it, I swear, but— I don’t know, I guess I was curious to see what was inside, y’know? Your journal was so… Full of stickers and personality, and— and the fact it was written in Spanish just fueled that fire,” she chokes up a little when she tries to excuse herself, but by Crystal’s expression she can tell she’s not having it.

She sighs, rubbing her eyelids. “I’m sorry, that doesn’t change the fact it was a dick move to translate it just because I wanted to snoop around.”

Crystal’s expression is unreadable, but by the quiver of her lips it’s clear that she wants to escape from this conversation.

“This journal is more like a diary to me,” she begins, inhaling deeply. “Nobody knows half the stuff in here, not even my mom. And I love her like you have no idea — you probably know more about me than she does now.” Crystal doesn’t bother faking the accent anymore, and somehow it feels more personal now, rawer. “And it hurts me because, even if you didn’t know it was me, you probably saw this ‘Liza’ as a helpless, lonely immigrant that you felt the need to befriend out of pity. Am I wrong?”

Gigi gulps hard; she’s not wrong, but she isn’t completely right either. But before she can say anything, Crystal continues.

“You know, it’s really curious; you didn’t know I existed until I lost the journal,” she comments and the words are oddly familiar.

Gigi feels a heat in her neck when she realizes.

“I was the girl in one of your classes that didn’t know you existed,” Gigi murmurs, but in the silence of the library, Crystal hears it clear enough.

It hurts, Crystal feels her head heavy and it’s getting harder to breath. Though she tries not to show it; she doesn’t want to be more of a pity cause to Gigi.

“Qué comes que adivinas,” she says, causing Gigi to frown slightly. “I asked Jan if I could borrow a pen a million times, and sometimes I asked you too — yet when we were paired together, you didn’t even know my name.”

At this point, Gigi wants a hole to open in the ground and swallow her. She can’t believe she’s been so blind, so self-centered she never noticed Crystal until just a week ago.

She inhales sharply, trying to pull herself together and say something, anything; she really wants to keep on being friends with Crystal, but she’s not so sure that Crystal wants the same.

“I’m sorry for reading it, I really can’t stress enough how sorry I am. I shouldn’t have done that,” she repeats again, and Crystal scoffs. “And— and you’re not wrong, on what you said about me feeling pity for you, but it’ not _right_ either. I didn’t think about you as any of that, I just… I thought about you as a possible friend, because you sounded so cool and your drawings were amazing and— and—” Gigi is rambling, not really knowing where she’s going, and before she makes a fool of herself again, she breathes in deeply and re-arranges her thoughts. “When I met you— well, _noticed_ you, you were this shy, quirky person I really wanted to get to know better. And I still do.”

There’s a heavy silence as Gigi stammers with her words, and Crystal rolls her eyes. She wants to believe her, more than anything; because Gigi _is_ a good person, she’s kind and funny and welcoming, and a plethora of other adjectives, but she doesn’t want to be nobody’s charity case.

She starts to spiral with anxiety; is Gigi the only one that knows? What about the rest of the girls? Had they invited her to their sleepover out of pity?

As if she could read her mind, Gigi sighs and rubs her eyelids once again.

“Nobody else knows, if that worries you; Jackie and Nicky almost did, but they never read more than the index page,” Gigi assures her and Crystal bites the inside of her cheek.

There’s a thick, awkward silence for what feels like an eternity, until Crystal speaks again.

“Whatever you read, you promise you won’t tell anyone?” Crystal asks, her voice is barely more than a whisper. Gigi sighs in relief, unclenching her jaw and letting her shoulders drop as she nods. “You pinky promise?”

Crystal stretches out her arm and extends her pinky finger, Gigi chuckles and wraps her own finger around it.

“Pinky promise.”

*

It isn’t easy to come up with an excuse as to why she avoided them and skipped classes until then, so she says the truth, or well, half of it: she was having some personal problems and didn’t want to inconvenience them.

Contrary to what she expected, the girls tell her to not worry about it and if she ever needs anything, instead of isolating by herself, she has them to vent whenever she wants to.

It makes her chest swell with happiness to know at least _someone_ cares for her; the things with her dad are still far from perfect, but after the sleepover at Dahlia’s, at least he’s making an effort to acknowledge her existence and keep an eye on her — for all she knows, it’s a good start.

After school, Jan has cheerleader practice, and they wait for her, sitting on the bleachers and talking shit, because they’re going to get ice cream for Jackie’s birthday, since they couldn’t go the day before.

Jaida tries to convince Jackie to throw a little party on the weekend, and Jackie says she should convince her mom first, and much to Jackie’s surprise, she accepts the challenge.

They laugh as Jaida rehearses a very un-Jaida like speech to convince Jackie’s mother, and at some point Crystal’s cheeks hurt from the laughter — she still feels uneasy, but it’ll most likely fade away as time passes.

*

Her friendship with the girls gets stronger with each week that goes by, and she starts to open up once she knows for sure their intentions aren’t malicious or anything or the sort.

She comes out to them when Jaida and Jan announce they are dating, and it blows her away to know not one of them is straight, though she probably should’ve seen it coming.

Crystal scratches the surface on her relationship with her dad, how her mother had struggled for years to give her a decent life back in Mexico, and the complete, unparalleled fear she always feels when she let her Mexican accent show when she first moved to the US.

She also shares the happy parts of her life back home — her big family and how every relative is a character of their own, even the little ones; her mom’s food, which she tries to replicate for them and even when they say it’s delicious, it’s nothing compared to her mom’s; the different festivities and traditions, and a long etcetera.

Dahlia is the one that asks about the parties, and soon the rest follow, pestering her to know what they were like, and even if she has a few memories she’d rather forget, she tells them about it without going into the details. Crystal doesn’t miss the squeeze Gigi gives her wrist once she’s done talking.

It still embarrasses that someone _knows_ ; makes her feel somehow dirty, even if she knows that it isn’t her fault that Federico is very much a horrible person.

But it also feels good having a shoulder to cry on instead of a pillow, when the memories get too overwhelming and cigarettes can’t calm her down.

Crystal has no hard feelings against Gigi, not really; she’s proven how sorry she feels and that she doesn’t see her as a “pity case” or anything of the sort. In fact, she’s the one she hangs out with the most.

She should say it’s odd, considering that at first Crystal didn’t even want to see her face, but despite the fact that Gigi knew a lot about her already, it felt good to share her secrets with someone on her own terms. It was cathartic.

And it isn’t as if she knows next to nothing about Gigi; she’s shared a few secrets of her own with her - her insecurities along with passions and dreams - over the course of their friendship. It’s nice, because for the longest time Gigi’s been saying how vulnerability isn’t a bad thing, but never put that to practice.

Crystal really appreciates her efforts to be a more open person, especially considering she wears her heart on her sleeve and Gigi kept hers locked until then.

*

It’s Saturday and it’s sunny, the birds are chirping, and Crystal likes to think she looks pretty with her flower patterned dress and tons of bracelets around her wrists.

She’s sitting under a tree at the park with Gigi, eating ice cream and talking about nothing really important, as their mouth and fingers get sticky and the sun goes down, but the warm weather prevails.

Summer is getting close with each day that goes by, and school is coming to an end, this upcoming week being the last one, and that means they get to hang out more often, with or without the rest.

“So, have you decided what you’re gonna do during summer?” Gigi asks, taking a spoon full of ice cream.

Almost everyone has plans already; Jaida is going to the beach —she asked her parents if Jan could come and they said no, to which she pitched a fight about it, but their “no” has remained firm so far, Nicky is going back to France, Jackie is visiting her Canadian family, and Dahlia, Gigi and Jan are the only ones who haven't Made up their minds.

Crystal nods cheerfully, smiling as she eats another scoop of ice cream.

“Oh, yeah, I’m going to Mexico and coming back for the start of the senior year,” she says, tone so casual it takes Gigi by surprise.

“Wait, really? When?”

“In like, three weeks from now,” she replies, “Why do you sound so surprised? I did tell you all I was planning on going home.” Crystal cocks a brow, and Gigi scratches her cheek.

“I just… Didn’t expect you to leave for the entire summer,” Gigi admits in a sheepish tone, and Crystal softens her expression.

“I mean, I never shut up about how much I miss Mexico,” Crystal points out, and Gigi sighs nervously.

“Well, yeah, but, um… Nevermind. I hope you have a good time there,” she dismisses it with a wave of her hand, and Crystal furrows her brows.

“But _what_? Is there something you want to tell me?” She inquires, feeling an itch of curiosity.

Gigi chews on her lower lip, with her cheeks getting a faint rosy tone.

“I— I was kinda hoping I’d get to ask you out sometime in the summer,” she says in a hurry, her tone so high pitched Crystal barely understands what she’s saying.

But once she does, she freezes in her spot and her cheeks get as red as her hair.

“Oh.” It’s all that comes out from her mouth, and Gigi looks absolutely mortified. Crystal blinks repeatedly before speaking. “Like, on a date?” She asks softly, with her tone full of doubt.

“Well, yeah.”

There’s an awkward silence for a moment, until Crystal breaks it, her curiosity getting the best of her.

“So… Does that mean you like _like_ me?” She inquires again, unable to believe what she’s just heard. Gigi nods slowly. “Why? Considering all you know about me, I thought you— you know, just liked me as a friend.”

Gigi sighs, staring at her melting ice cream cone.

“I mean, I kind of liked you since before I knew the journal was yours, but, like, I didn’t realize until now,” she explains, her voice lowering with each word she says.

Crystal takes a sharp breath, remembering when Gigi didn’t know she existed and how she always thought she was pretty, so pretty she could barely ask her for a pen without stammering.

If someone told her the pretty girl with the nice eyeliner would one day get ahold of her journal and then ask her out on a date weeks later, she would’ve laughed so hard, she ended up crying.

She breathes in deeply, giving her ice cream a lick before talking again.

“We could go out to the cinema before I leave,” she offers in a sheepish whisper. Gigi smiles softly and nods.

“That’d be cool — but I wanted to be the one to ask you out,” Gigi protests in a jokingly tone, and Crystal laughs wholeheartedly, telling her to go ahead then. “Crystal Elizabeth, would you like to go to the cinema with me on Friday?”

Crystal laughs again, nodding cheerfully.

“Sure, why not?”

*

Her home back in Mexico is exactly as she remembered it, and her mom’s hugs still remain the best hugs.

Crystal runs around the house without shoes on despite her mom’s scolding, and her grandmother, bless that woman, tells her daughter to _“¡Dejala en paz, Rosario; la niña necesita formar anticuerpos!”_

Dinner with her family is loud and messy, with everyone wanting to hear what she’s been up to in the States, and about her father and step-mother.

She tells them about the girls, about Miss April and Miss Tammie, and how they were her only friends for almost a month; how she had to practice her American accent for days and nights out of fear of being targeted for being an immigrant; the complete and utter confusion she felt on her very first day, not only because she could barely understand her teachers, but because the American school system was more of a mess than the Mexican one.

Her nieces and nephews pester her about why she hadn’t brought them gifts and she just laughs, promising to bring them something next time she comes back.

Her friends come to visit her as soon as they hear she's back in town, and her mom has to practically kick them out, since they refuse to leave until they hear every detail about Crystal’s new life.

Once she goes to bed, she checks her phone and seeing all the texts from the girls makes her smile widely, especially the ones from Gigi.

Crystal answers all of them, and without waiting for a reply, she plugs her phone to her charger, and gets up to look for something in her closet.

She sighs in relief when she notices her box is still there, covered by the clothes that remained here. She pulls it out and when she opens it, it’s as if she’s starting a new life.

Crystal sits on her bed, cross legged, with a sea of pencils and pens sprawled across her bed, and starts to decorate the index page of her new journal.

On the first page after the index, she writes:

_“July 1_ _ st _ _,_

_Dear diary, I met a girl called Gigi in the United States…”_

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr is @chachkisalpaca as always


End file.
